Holly Lowery
Eating Disorder Recovery Coach & Anti-Diet Advocate


Holly Lowery - Blog

well and weird

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This is why you should stop trying to break your "bad" habits, and start shifting them.


I did something today- for some it might seem small. But I'm all about celebrating the small stuff. Especially in times of transition & growth (which is always.... am I right?) Today I ordered tea instead of coffee *cue the deep gasp and dramatic music please*

But for real, this is something I stilllllllll have a hard time grappling with. The fact that I love -I mean I reaaaaally love- the taste of coffee. What I do not love is the fact that it makes my heart beat out of my chest, my anxiety soar higher than usual, and my blood sugar all wacky. 

One would think knowing all of this that it would be a no-brainer for me to choose tea over coffee every day of the week. But there's something about it I always come back to. Call it the ritual, the cultural norm, a chemical dependence; I'm sure it's a little of all of that.

But my best guess as to why I seem to always come back to coffee in the morning? Because for years I had rules about whether or not I could drink it; should drink it. Instead of taking it day by day, for years I've gone "on" and "off" coffee. Instead of looking at tea or water as just another option I framed it as a downgrade in my brain. And the fact that I saw tea as a downgrade, and coffee "off-limits" only made me want the coffee even more.

Where does that black and white thinking come from? Years and years of the diet mentality, I'm sure. Think about every time you've gone on a diet only to have it end in some sort of binge or "cheat."  You made some foods off limits but eventually gave in to that deep desire when you just couldn't resist those foods anymore. It's the diet-restrict-binge cycle, and that sh*t is never fun (not to mention it's never successful in terms of health or weight stabilization!)

So instead of "taking a break" from coffee or doing a caffeine cleanse. I'm just gonna sip my tea today, and take tomorrow as it comes - no rules, just respect for my body, my desires & my situation. 

Instead of "breaking" a habit I've had for YEARS, I'm just going to work on slowly shifting my mindset around what I want, need & deserve. 

So, now it's your turn to tune in: what's something you've been setting rules around for a while? Where could you relax and lean in? Where can you pull back a little to make more space? 

Whether it's food or coffee or your workout - whatever! - Let's start by dropping the rules in exchange for aligned actions that are sloooooow, flexible & intuitive.