Why curiosity is so important when talking about health + intuitive eating
Get the Conscious Curiosity Cheat Sheet -> The number one thing I tell people when they ask me what they can do to start taking better care of themselves is this: start getting curious.
This might seem a little strange- why do you need to get curious about your desire to be healthy? Isn't getting healthier what we're all supposed to do?
Half the reason most people feel so lost when it comes to feeling good in their minds + bodies is because they have no idea
- what their reason for wanting to make changes is in the first place and
- what 'GOOD' really means for them
In order to start making gentle shifts towards sustainable health you first have to know those two things; their essentially your *WHY and your *WHAT.
It's easy to say something like, "well I want to be healthier so I can feel better."
But what does "better" feel like? What does it look like? What will feeling "better" bring into your life? What will it allow you to do differently? What will it change for you?
Before you can think about your HOW (e.g. "How am I going to get feeling better?"), you first have to get super clear about what exactly it is that you want, and why it is that you want it.
Another thing I love about this practice of conscious curiosity is that, even when you think you know what you want, sometimes you're blown away by what you end up finding out about your true wants and desires.
For example, for years I thought I needed to be thinner. I thought my body was not pretty enough, thin enough, perfect enough for anyone else to love it or feel attracted to it.
After many years of basically zero curiosity practice, I felt more drained and frustrated and betrayed by my body than ever.
And then I realized this: I didn't actually want to be thinner. I loved my booty, and my curves, and my dimples and the energy that my body helped radiate.
It actually took me losing a bunch of weight- way below my set point- for me to realize I didn't feel any better in this new body than I had in my normal body. I felt equally as vulnerable in both cases. So if it wasn't being thin I actually wanted then what was it?
I wanted to fit. I wanted to stop comparing my size and shape to that of other women. I wanted to eat "normally" without feeling afraid that I would gain weight. I wanted to feel connected and alive like the other people in my life all appeared to be- spoiler alert: most people don't feel as connected or alive as you think they do. I wanted to feel wanted and loved and desired; and being thinner didn't get me the majority of those things.
But I never would have realized that thinness wouldn't make me happier if I hadn't taken the time to first get curious and honest about what the heck I really wanted and why I wanted it.
So if you're feeling like being thinner would make your life so much easier; if you're feeling like you'd be so much happier if you could just lose weight. I want to challenge you to first get curious about that.
Start with the simplest of questions: Why?
Get out your favorite notebook, your sharpest pencil and just. get. curious. Write it down. Sort it out. Be brutally honest. And don't for a second think that whatever comes out of your pencil and onto the paper is silly. It's all valid, and it's all crucial for your success in making more intuitive choices for your health.
If you want to go deeper, check out my Conscious Curiosity 101 cheat sheet with even more prompts + tools for getting clear.